Bastard machines

Kinkos
Reviews from Detroit, MI, Brooklyn Heights, NY and San Fransisco, CA
"Kinko's is like the bane of my academic existence.
... we're all stuck with this miserable company. I truly believe Kinko's is ran by- and employed- by sadists."

"I wish there was a zero star rating in Yelp, then I would have given this place the ignominious title it deserves. Even though there are no other Kinko's in the downtown or Clinton Hill area, do NOT relent and bother visiting this place: go to the City, just do NOT come here. My wife went to print some things out for her Art School project today, and they were the rudest, mismanaged kinkos that she has ever been in (been in lots). She was sternly told 'wait your turn' by the manager after waiting for a 1/2 hour without anyone coming to the counter."

"Have you ever seen that 'Pop Copy' sketch on Chappelle's Show? I swear Dave must have visited this place because I experienced it in real life this afternoon. OK, I had to send a fax. Simple enough, right? Think again. The paper I was faxing was smaller than standard size so the guy behind the counter told me I should make a copy of it and then feed it into the machine. OK. Unfortunately making a single xerox is much easier said than done since none of the machines take change. You have to purchase a copy card from a machine that only takes dollars to make a single copy that only costs 10 cents. Great. So I'm making my copy and theres an old lady at another machine yelling for assistance for about 5 minutes while the staff completely ignore her. Then I finally fax my paper and go to pay and the girl at the counter just puts her hand out for the money without even telling me what I owe while she has a conversation about chicken with another employee with her head turned completely away from me. She actually burped when taking my money. Lunch musta been finger-lickin good. Then as I'm finally ready to leave after a 15 minute ordeal that should take about 2, a disgruntled customer storms out yelling various F words at the staff too explicit to repeat here. She proceeds to pick something up off a shelf and throw it in the general direction of the counter. It came about an inch from hitting another customer. 'That's how people get shot in this city,' she said. I would have to agree. Do yourself a favor by never setting foot in this dump."

"Whoever runs this location made a brilliant choice in hiring the load of luddites that waste space in this shit hole. Their copy machines are bastards that eat your money, staple your papers wrong, fuck up two-sided copies, and break down with any other request besides one one-sided copy. Bastard machines."

"Don't mess with Kinko's unless you wanna break down and cry with the end results of your printing needs."

"One person was staring at the computer monitor for 5 minutes. I didn't see the screen change or any other activity that made it seem like she was doing anything. One guy was trying to figure out how to load paper into the copier. Then, when another associate came out from the back, she stopped to admire something that was 'oh, so cute' on a piece of paper that was lying on the table for another minute...what gives? I mean, I love spending my time waiting in lines and all, but usually it'll result in me getting on a roller coaster if I'm waiting that long."

"Due to Yelp's family nature, I cannot use the amount of profanity needed to make this review accurate."