Saturday, January 23, 2010

Tasted like sewage smells.

I Love Mexico Bar & Grille
Providence, RI
"I would rather eat out of the garbage."
"Tasted like sewage smells."

Cha Cha Cha
San Francisco, CA
"The host, a 55 year old skinny caucasian gentleman, is an asshole. An unapologetic, rude, snippy, asshole. Cha Cha Cha? Don't don't don't."

Jamms Restaurant
Mystic, CT
"What a dive. It is like a really bad hotel restaurant: dirty, still smells like cigs years after the smoking ban, horrible food. You know what the grub is like, a college cafeteria. Or if a Chili's was a meth den. Worst BLT ever. Only to be topped by the double worst nachos ever, the 'spiced chili beef' tastes like plastic. Rancid plastic. And the chips were stale. And the guac was brown. And the salsa was watery. Repugnant. The water tasted like chlorine."

Pizza Pie-ER
Providence, RI
"Total poop. A T-Rex couldn't chew this crust. Not cheap. Worse than Dominoes. They have had a 'Help Wanted' sign in the window for half a decade. I think their pizza wrote it, and wants help because it realizes it is fucking terrible. Fellini's is two blocks away. Go there."

Nordstrom EBar
Providence, RI
"So, I ask them, before I order if they have espresso cups 'for here.' Generally that's shorthand for 'not paper.' When my shot emerges from behind the machine. It was presented in a flimsy little paper cup. You know, like they have at the dentist. After asking for my 'for here' cup, I was told paper was all they had. Peh."

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